Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
