I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
