lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
