I don't think brook has ever known best
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
