if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
