So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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