i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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