You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
