never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
