Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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