Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
