He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
