How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
