In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
