I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
