Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize