i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
