Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
