I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Sorry about my life...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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