She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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