Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
