He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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