Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I understand Curling. That high.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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