he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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