I hope mine doesn't look like that
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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