Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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