Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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