That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
