I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
