Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
