What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
