please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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