i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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