Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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