He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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