you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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