it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
