Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
