He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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