Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
