His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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