Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
