how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
