Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
