my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize