hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
