Im at strip club and am horny
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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