Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
