just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
