Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
