I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize