I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
