I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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