my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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