Walk of Shame today included voting.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
