Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
