If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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