I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize