just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
