That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
