9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
