Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize