Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
