I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
