fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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