they need to just BURY HIM!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
