i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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