That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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