In the future we'll all be gay
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you win again, gameday.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
